5 Things You Need to Survive Writing (or College)

You know how writing and colleging are basically the same thing? How you think they’re going to involve lots of crazy parties with fashionable people doing drugs and whatever, but mostly it’s just drinking tea in your pajamas and wondering whether you have the energy to go to the library today or not?

I’ve definitely noticed. And because I’ve been writing seriously for 6 years and attending college for almost half of that time, I’ve realized that the equipment you need for both of these arduous processes is more or less the same. Barring the obvious (like computers or pens, for god’s sake people, bring your own pens), here are 5 things you need to survive writing (or college).

  1. Make-up remover/facial/baby wipes. Okay. Who even invented these things. They are genius. GENIUS. You know how sometimes you get back from the library at 2 in the morning or you look up from your notes/computer screen and it’s suddenly 4 AM? Yeah, that happens a lot. So you don’t wanna actually wash your face because that takes TIME and ENERGY and you have NEITHER, okay? NEITHER. So instead you go into the bathroom and pull one of these out and rub it over your face, back, chest and then you fall into bed and tell yourself you’ll be a real adult tomorrow. Also washing myself with these babies, particularly my face and back, means that I don’t have painful throbby acne in the morning. What is the worst thing in the world? Painful throbbing acne on your forehead, man. It’s awful. Believe me.
  2. An all-purpose moisturizer. And I mean all-purpose. It needs to go on all of your skin and be okay. Why? Because if you are like me you don’t have time for all these differentiated products when you are in the middle of a draft or finals week. It’s like, okay, here is this one thing, I am going to put it ALL OVER MY BODY. HYDRATION SUCCESS. Also, if you are in a cold or dry climate you are going to need to moisturize yourself. Cracking dry skin is painful. PAINFUL CRACKED KNUCKLES SLOW YOU DOWN DURING TESTS, YOU CHUMPS. MOISTURIZE. Also if you want to go EVEN MORE ALL-PURPOSE, you can be like me and invest in some coconut oil. Then you can use it as a hair conditioner, and lip balm too, and also fry your eggs in it. Don’t have any butter? GOING TO THE STORE IS FOR PEOPLE WITH FREE TIME. FRY THAT EGG IN YOUR MOISTURIZER OH YEAH.
  3. A neck pillow. Congratulations. You can now sleep anywhere.
  4. Wrist brace and exercises. Shut up and watch this video. Don’t even argue. I know you have carpal tunnel and you don’t even bother to wear a brace on the computer. SHAMEFUL. Don’t you know your hands could fall off at, like, ANY MOMENT???
  5. Mouthwash. Buy a pocket-size bottle. Refill as necessary. You know you need it, don’t even pretend.

I have a reading list for my BA, and even a potential thesis. This is very exciting. Expect me to blab on about that in the near future, hopefully before the quarter starts, so I don’t sound like a total idiot when I talk to my advisor for the first time.



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